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The Difference Between Men and Women

Some skateboarders were doing their dangerous thang on my walk home today. One imbecile boy was skateboarding in the middle of the street as his friend filmed the action. The skateboarding hoodlum tried to take his board up the plastic construction partition. The move didn’t work, gravity reared its ugly head and he fell.

My inner monologue went something like, “Ouch that could hurt his tibia, fibia, shin, knee, ankle, metatarsal or ACL. Imagine the chronic pain one of those injuries could bring? I don’t know anything about leg bones. Boys are foolish. Is this road even closed?”

The guy filming said, “That was cool.”


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The White Panda- Rihanna v.s Game of Thrones

LOLLLLLLL. Can you just imagine the ridiculous YouTube montages of romantic GOT couples that this will accompany? Super late to the game on this silly mash-up, enjoy!

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For The Record

Kelly Taylor was the daughter of an absentee father and drug-addict mother. She took too many diet pills and passed out on her 18th birthday, hooked up with her best friend’s boyfriend, was almost date-raped, gets addicted to cocaine, has a really unlikely AIDS scare, becomes a magazine cover model, gets caught and burned in a fire, joins a cult, is told she’s infertile, moves in with her boyfriend right after college graduation, gets shot, suffers from amnesia, gets raped in an alley, becomes a social worker, owns a clothing store and then hopefully ends up with Dylan McKay.

That’s just one saga of the gang from Beverly Hills.

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WE ARE TWIN- The Way We Touch

This track represents a special instance where picking one song off a brilliant EP is a challenge. “Keep On Lovin”’ basically updates a Supremes song to sound more alt-rock/indie rock and it’s wonderfully fun. “Don’t Tell You Parents” is also a terrific teen anthem. Seriously, lsiten to the whole EP. “The Way We Touch” is the ideal intro to WE ARE TWIN because it fantastically fuses blues, rock and a little indie into an unadulterated rock song. The percussion will make you want to clap along and the denouement of the song screams ending credits to the happy ending of the love story. Fall in love / rock out.

"I forget the world when I’m with you."

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Glass Animals- Gooey

Is it just me or has this song been as ubiquitous as upsetting news on TV this summer? The track actually sounds gooey, which is captivating like dripping honey. Glass Animals are from Oxford, which was surprising since this song has a kind of humid sound that I’d associated with the land of Sir Faulker.

"You just wanna know those peanut butter vibes."

(Editor’s Note: Peanut butter vibes are my new favorite kind of vibe)

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Fickle Friends- S W I M

This track has been following me around. It’s an ideal summer song with a fitting aquatic theme (ala the classic Swim Good) for the hot months. Don’t be fooled by the disco influence though, this is not the lightest of tracks, lyrically that is: Decisions, growing up, confusion, ya know the works.

"You are not alone."

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The world seems like a pretty shitty place right now. While I’m not one to dwell on the negative, it’s hard to ignore all the terrible things happening practically everywhere. It’s better to focus on the good things for a respite from the chaos. Just ask Woody Allen.

My life-affirming list includes:

  • This voice
  • Really delicious bread or pasta,
  • paired with really delicious chevre
  • Leonard Bernstein conducting Beethoven’s 7th (the last he ever did)
  • Walking on beautiful nights
  • Where the Hell is Matt?
  • Dessert, generally
  • The “I’m as mad as hell" scene in Network (and Network, generally)
  • Reading outside
  • When yoga feels exactly as you think it should
  • Cold, crisp, clean sheets
  • The smell of sauteing garlic or onions
  • Bob Dylan
  • When the right track comes on at the exact moment you need it
  • Special occasion moons
  • Absalom! Absalom!
  • 7th chords
  • Pasta
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All Bad News

In addition to Robin Williams dying, Gaza is a mess, Iraq is a mess, Syria is a mess, Ebola is a mess, Ukraine is a mess, Turkey is a mess and the Nigerian school girls are still missing. The American police force is a mess, the prison system is a mess, gun control is a mess, congress is a mess, vaccinations are a mess, education is a mess.

Did I miss something?

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Why do we do this?

There’s a trendy novel out that I don’t want to buy. Let me clarify that this isn’t because it seems boring, but because I kind of love/hate the author and don’t think I can bring myself to actually purchase the hard cover. Instead I have been reading every review, watching the author’s interviews and reading all his past work. When I checked to see if I could sneakily check out the book from the library, I saw that the 33 copies had been requested over 200 times. I seethed because I was too late to the game, but my first thought was, “Good for her*.” So, I am fixating on something that I kind of can’t stand, and while “hate” is not the right word to describe this scenario, my careful “hate-reading” up on the author is something worth exploring further.

In high school my Latin teacher really changed my perspective on hatred, not in the least because I grew to love a dead language. In discussing the nemesis of Aeneas, my teacher remarked that for deeply despising someone, Turnus was pretty obsessed with his be-loathed. He concluded that Turnus’s sworn hatred was so passionate that it bordered on love, granted the exact opposite. Still, the difference between the two is so extreme that it’s not. Get it? Devoting time and energy to constantly thinking and fretting and obsessing about someone (or something) can fall into both the love and hatred realms.

So when I begin to get angry about anything or anyone, I do my best to let the thoughts pass. Because wouldn’t the greatest revenge or diss actually be to not care at all? Instead of constantly fixating on women who gain fame through sex tapes, why don’t we just not think about them? There’s actually a rule in my apartment that we do not mention celebrities like that because 99 percent of the time that sort of culture just doesn’t deserve our words (the previous explanatory ones excluded). By never considering the ex, you waste no energy or mental space on him, which seems pretty liberating.

I explained this theory to H, who considered it a zen way to distance yourself. While this is a nice philosophical way to deal with culture, it’s not at all a speculation on the kind of hate that is breed somewhere like Gaza, which I can’t write about because I’m certain I have nothing to contribute  to that dialogue, if we can even call it a dialogue. At least, we can return to the classics though for the most eloquently obvious observation and a somewhat cyclical end to this blog post, “During times of peace, the sons bury their fathers, but in war it is the fathers who send their sons to the grave.” -Herodotus

*Furtive pronouns, naturally.

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Where Are They Now

Dorthea of Middlemarch was a solid study buddy in college and, in my fictional universe, is frenemeis with Elinor of Sense and Sensibility. They become lawyers, Elinor for something corporate and ambitious while Dorthea is a public defender.

Lolita will never finish college, but instead move to Brooklyn and always have a job at a bar despite always being perpetually late and generally dismissive. She has a somewhat sapphic relationship with Brett of The Sun Also Rises, who works for a literary magazine, always wear loafers and rocks wide-framed sunglasses. They are roommates. Down the road is Jo March of Little Women, a freelancer who often blogs about her many cats. 

Scout of To Kill a Mockingbird will run a CSA and sell her own handmade straw hats. Scarlett of Gone with the Wind is the CEO of an oil company.

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