THIS IS LIL WHY

Britney Spears- Til The World Ends Feat. Nicki Minaj & Ke$ha (Remix)

Interestingly, when mixing three partially annoying divas voices, the end result is not as irritating as you’d imagine, in fact, it’s pretty catchy - sans Ke$ha who is simply irredeemable as a human singer.

World- hold on.

One Direction- What Makes You Beautiful

This is a tough one. By attempting to explore the end of culture phenomena that is One Direction, we are simultaneously promoting the one directional track that blatantly borrows from Grease’s Summer Lovin’ bass line. How can something so derivative still incite the urge to jump around happily? The best way to explain the success of a rubbish song like this is by quoting T.S Elliot describing television as simply “…a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke and the same time and yet remain lonesome.”

Could Elliot’s opus The Wasteland be a grand metaphor for the state of current music?

Justin Bieber- Boyfriend

Since this is considered culture nowadays we’re afraid we’ll have to explore the pout-y global phenomenon that is Justin Bieber. This one has already gone to number two in on the Billboard Hot 100 since its release on Monday, oh my! His eerie initial semi-rap seems pretty creepy here, which serves as the most unique part of the song. Still, so many producers and musicians wish to work with the Biebs. Perhaps because he’s a blank canvas for them to write- or compose- upon. There’s something old fashioned about this single like we heard it when we were coming of age, which probably suggests that it contains the same catchy qualities and thematic elements as Backstreet/Nsync whichever was your poison.

Challenge: play this twice and see if you can avoid humming along…

Alex Gaudino- What A Feeling Feat. Kelly Rowland

This is like the spam of music. Tracks like this sound as if they’ve taken every other hit in their respective genres and ground it into one song. That being said, the method is quite effective! We can’t quite put our finger on it, but it sounds like something we’ve heard before…Maybe Irene Cara’s “What A Feeling” meets Guetta and Rowland’s mediocre collaboration “When Love Takes Over.”

Whatevs, we’ll still dance to it.

Sak Noel- Loca People

In a way, Noel takes on a poetry to the level of C.S.S.  His simplistic expression of language hints at his possible modernist tendencies.  This is like the spoken/party/ version of “Ecudaor,” oh yeah, you read right, that was a Sash! reference! Could this track be the new Mr. Saxo-Beat.  Could this be the musical equivalent to William Carlos Williams “so much depends upon a red wheel barrow?”

Could we be the loca hente Sak Noel references?

Kreayshawn- Gucci Gucci

With the American congress having debating about defaulting only weeks ago, what better time for Kreayshawn (Natassia Gail Zolot) to release a track with a tasteless chorus that enumerates on several luxury brands…this is so deliciously trite/offensive/obnoxious, you can’t help but stop and listen. Somewhere between Paris Hilton’s sex tape and Kim Kardashian’s wedding materialism became a nursery rhyme.

This Pasadena chick looks like Amy Winehouse, but sounds as vulgar as Lil Kim if she tried on a hipster persona.  Her music video for this song suggests she’s more of a cobra snake-ish indie f*ck.  Oh dear, another sub genre.  At least her sound is current. She’s like anti- M.I.A, but rather than rap with a political agenda, Kreayshawn chooses to rap with blatant apathy (nearly analogous to the actions of the London rioters..).  Her tracks include this gem, Rich Whores, and Bumpin’ Bumpin’.  If we were to judge a book by its cover, we’d have to surmise that these tracks will be bursting with substance and philosophical fervor.

Kreayshawn and Tyler the Creator could have an incendiary child, fosho.

Nicole Scherzinger- Poison

What an embarrassingly catchy choon.  This is, as Shakespeare eloquently suggested, “poison” in your ears.  To a certain extent it is literally toxic, but not in a pejorative sense (ever since Britney reclaimed the meaning of toxicity).

Try not to overdose.

Fabolous- It’s My Time Feat. Jeremiah

It’s about time we put up a purely pathetic track specifically for your work out mix. Definitely not grammatically fabulous, but whatever gets you running!

Flab to Fab?

New Boyz- Backseat Driver Feat. Dev

This represents the demise of music- or it’s progressive downfall since the machine of pop was invented.  Heard this one months ago, thought it was lame.  Been brutally overplayed, now it’s alright.  The lyrics are nothing special.  The beat is only decent.  

And apparently that’s all it takes.

Leighton Meester- Somebody To Love Feat. Robin Thicke

Might this be the most embarrassing track ever posted on Lilwhy?  Another instance of jamming to an unknown track only to discover that the innovative artist is, in fact, an embarrassment Blair Waldorf.

XoXo the universe’s idea of irony